|
Lenten Meditations 2009
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were
born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just
in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we
are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.
*Marianne Williamson. A Return to Love
The Love the Bible speaks of - Agape - is a holy Love. This holiness is in such Love being a Love set apart from all other loves, a love grounded in God as the Totally Other. In this life, through surrender, we can be agents of this holy Love, and our moral choices are means to better prepare us to be the instrument of such Affection. The ultimate end of all civility, religion, spirituality, and morality is one Reality: Love.
*Brian K. Wilcox
Today's Scripture
23And Jesus answered them, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25Whoever loves his life loses it, and(E) whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
*John 12.23-25 (ESV)
* * *
One of the basic premises of being a spiritual being is: We cannot be and do the good we want. We, for whatever reason, have to have made, through cooperation with sacred Spirit, a space within for Christlike being and qualities to manifest. This requires continued practice in humbleness and surrender to the Divine Presence.
Long before the qualities manifest, we have an innate awareness of them. Yet, we have not surrendered enough for these virtues to spring forth into expression. In the words of Marianne Williamson, we shrink from allowing our being to manifest the godlikeness that is created within us, we are not liberated enough for the flow of Spirit. Before they do manifest, we evidence a likeness to them in certain thoughts and actions, not nearly in the full force they can evidence, however, or as consistently.
They are within us collectively, as part of our inheritance of the Divine, and our longing to evidence them is evidence of our being godlike in essence. We defend ourselves against them in our ego awareness, while we long to express them. One reason we do this is fear. We fear the freedom of Christlikeness. We fear we cannot psychologically handle such godlikeness.
Much of our pain is our repression of the qualities. Likewise, generally, psychology fails to address our pain as a spiritual issue with only a spiritual solution. The pain is the result of our repression of what of God is already within us. And much religion address virtue as merely a moral issue, not a matter of Spirit-qualities awaiting within us to manifest the likeness of Christ.
This pain is not known by persons who are not awakened to the innate presence of these latent aspects. And a person can be very religious, even a wonderfully kind person, and never know the expression of these qualities on any consistent basis.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
I have experienced bringing forth of spiritual qualities in my life. It took many years of working with spiritual practices that addressed ego patterns and consensual awareness directly, and often at great emotional, somatic, and relational pain.
Also, these practices and some heartbreaking events combined to begin an evidencing clearly of marked changes in my thought and action of the nature I will describe later. I would not profess to be in this mode of arising always. I am simply much more in it and deeper than before: and much less stuck in personal consciousness.
Now, I did see changes earlier. However, about fifteen years into contemplative practice I began seeing marked and frequent times of a space within, wherein I starting witnessing a loss of personal-ego awareness into expressions of spiritual love and divine graciousness, including forgiveness, I had not known before.
One such example occurred recently. I was worshipping in a Sunday morning service. Generally, I have trouble singing in worship: that is, it does not flow, and I am not gifted at it. Yet, this day, I was singing with an immense freedom, as though my heart was overflowing with passion for the Divine. I witnessed all this, like: "Wow! This is a powerful Love."
About a week later, a family member I had engaged in ego battles with for many years was on the phone with me. I was sitting in my recliner, and I was speaking to this person. I had no intention of anything "spiritual" to occur. What, however, was different is I observed my whole self filled with a degree of love I had never known for the person. I was, literally, witnessing this, amazed while this was happening.
I seemed to be speaking out of an unconditional space, which felt like a fruition of love I felt before but in a lesser way, or measure. I knew my ego awareness could never have brought forth this. I felt like Love Itself was in control of my voice. The sensation was not simply of a love felt in the heart, but a love that was in somatic control of my speech. The qualities literally flowed each time I spoke. This was similar to the experience in worship.
After the experience with the family member, again, I had a manifestation lasting many hours. This was so strong I told a friend I felt like my heart could explode. The one person who had hurt me possibly the most in my life, I felt a blissful, unconditional, and passionate - spiritual - love for. This love was not a love grounded in any effort on my own, or to get anything from the person. There was no logic for it, in the sense that I could explain how such could have arisen merely by causes set in motion by my will, or goodwill. My will was not in control, rather, my will was one with the manifestation.
Two days later I did a wedding at the jail where I work. This same powerful manifestation occurred during the ceremony. Again, even while doing the ceremony, I was witnessing this powerful working-within-and-through, and the quality was being experienced through my body.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
These arisings - easterings - occurred after weeks of working through painful feelings and returning many times to pray to Christ, that He would help me to be in the Love that He Is. And over several months I had returned to a more personal relationship with Christ Jesus as Love. For years I had engaged a more heady, intellectual form of meditation and prayer. With this engagement in loving practices, I began seeing more Loving sensations arising within me.
Reflecting on these manifestations of Love, my mind was led to the Scripture for today. One constant in preparation for these arisings was immense pain, prolonged suffering, and great loss - a being made powerless before things done to me, and not according to my will.
The life-death-resurrection of Jesus provides the Way for us. He speaks of fruition of his death in terms like a seed buried to die in the ground. He applies the same to us, and counsels us that we must "hate" our lives in the world. Does he mean we are to hate ourselves? No, we are to have a strong dislike for the life "in the world": lived unto selfishness, rather than in His Love. Our death is to our excuses for the ways we continue to block the godlike virtues within us, and suffer for we keep acting out of our personal ego awareness alone.
Lent is a Journey for our personal willfulness to be buried a little more. This prepares us for a more full experience of Easter. The more of the self-willfulness we have buried by and in Love, the more Love arises.
This feels like a loss of control. Yes, such is a loss of control, but into a freedom wherein our will is no longer in control of even seeking to be and do good. Rather, a larger Source is moving through us, in the space our spiritual practices and, yes, possibly immense suffering, openned up within our heart.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Consider that you may be in a hurtful relationship, and you are not to run away from it, but learn more of Divine Love by the changes that will occur in your heart within it. If this is your situation, pray to Christ to help you have His Love for the person, or persons.
Focus on doing some heart prayer. Connect with your heart, your inner self, allowing yourself to express loving feelings to the Divine in prayer and meditation.
Think of someone you know, and pray silently, in some form of meditative prayer, expressing Divine Love for him or her.
Work on thinking loving thoughts and having loving feelings about yourself. Imagine how much you sense God wants your Love; now, seeing God is Love, consider how much God wants you to have love for yourself in God and others.
* * *
*This writing ministry is the offering of Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida, a Pastor in the United Methodist Church, and Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Jail, Punta Gorda, FL. To contact Brian, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
|
